Well, Christmas has come and gone. It’s the early hours of Monday morning and I’m doing my utmost to get my head and body into the game. It was a pretty rough holiday for me. Lots of reasons. None of them of any value. But it makes me feel a little better about myself if I justify my self wallowing. Mostly because of the irony of the fact that nobody is going to read what I write! And even those words being typed make me feel a little better about myself.
And I think it’s because last night I fell asleep reading the latest book by Michael Chabon. It’s about fatherhood. And when I read the review I knew I wasn’t going to be reading a classic fiction novel. No, this is more on how we men inevitably fail at fatherhood. And what I got from the first chapter is going to help me get through today. What I got from him is so applicable to life it’s humbling. As I know that nobody is going to read this, so do I know that nobody is going to care what I accomplish today. There may be an occurence of someone letting me know what I didn’t get done. But no kudos for what I did. And should anyone stumble upon this missive there’s a grain of truth behind that for you.
You’re probably figuring out this healthy living and exercise thing. What to eat. How much to eat. What exercises to do. And all along the way you’re fighting such an incredible uphill battle. You work your ass off! At least you think you do. And the flipping scale goes up! You prepare healthy foods from a recipe and it takes like excrement from a dung beetle! And to add insult to injury every time you do have a breakthrough there’s nobody there to applaud you.
Boy I’d love to give you some words of encouragement that will make all of the effort seem worthwhile and a positive thing in your life. But I can’t. Because words aren’t what this is all about. You just have to know that the person you’re being is what it boils down to. You’re being a fit and healthy person and leading the fit and healthy life you want to lead. That’s all there is to it. No fanfare. No crowd. Just you and your habits. The ones that make you feel good about you. I know that’s the truth because I’m feeling it right now. Not a lot. But there’s something there. Some glimmer of hope that I’ll be rewarded for doing something I know is good for me – writing. And then it hits me. I am. I’m being a writer.
